


Exit Wounds

by sarahsharpe1231



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 07:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14515695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahsharpe1231/pseuds/sarahsharpe1231
Summary: "Yes. It is."With those three small words, Cisco's world shattered. He had just lost the woman he was planning on spending the rest of his life with. Later that night, Caitlin comes to help mend her best friend's broken heart.





	Exit Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> I sobbed myself to sleep last night. I understand why it happened...but I honestly thought the show would be cancelled before I ever had to see it. It NEVER occurred to me that these two wouldn't be endgame. They were PERFECT for each other.
> 
> I had spent the past year rooting for these two--making fan vids and writing fanfics as I waited for her to reappear, defending them against the haters and naysayers, carving out space in my heart for the most loving, beautiful power couple in the multiverse.
> 
> After Kendra left Cisco, I was waiting. I didn't know for what--but I was waiting for something. It was her. It was Cynthia. SHE was going to make him happy. SHE was going to show him that he deserved to be loved. I now have to wait for someone else.... My biggest fear, though.....is that he might believe he doesn't deserve to be loved anymore. I'm TERRIFIED that losing her might've broken him.
> 
> So here's this fic. It's all of my thoughts and feelings and fluff and angst that I needed to put on paper after watching last night's episode. I'm planning to write some more stuff this week. I have so much more I need to say. If I can find the time in between writing papers and studying for finals, look out for them. In the mean time, enjoy!!!

Cisco got up from his couch when he heard a knock at the door. Well, ‘got up’ is sort of an exaggeration. He dragged himself off the couch. Every muscle in his body was sore…but he couldn’t let losing her stop him from being a functioning human being. He opened the door and saw Caitlin with a somber smile on her face.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” she responded.

Cisco couldn’t take it. He collapsed onto her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He squeezed her with every bit of strength he had left and was almost afraid he was going to suffocate her…but stopped worrying when he felt her arms slip around his waist. The tears came pouring out. Again. He honestly thought his body couldn’t produce any more tears for the day. He was wrong. Caitlin didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. She was enough. They stood like that for a solid minute before Cisco even registered the cold sensation on his thigh.

“Oh my god, Caitlin!” he said, pulling out of the embrace. “Did you…?”

“What?” she asked, confused.

She then followed his gaze down to her hands and realized where Cisco’s mind was.

“Oh, no,” she said, lifting the bag in her hand. “But I did bring ice cream.”

“Cinnamon Buns?” he asked.

“And Milk & Cookies,” she said.

“You are the _best_ ,” Cisco responded as he made his way toward the kitchen to get spoons.

After grabbing two from the drawer, he gave one to Caitlin. She took the cartons out of the bag and opened the lids. Cisco took one and made his way back over to the couch. He dug in. After two bites, he grabbed the remote and turned on Adult Swim. _Rick and Morty_ ’s “Auto Erotic Assimilation” was on. It's like the multiverse was turning against him. He’s never turned off the TV faster. Caitlin sat down next to him.

“Isn’t that one of your favorite shows?” she asked in between bites of ice cream.

“Yeah,” he said, not looking away from the TV, “but the episode where Rick gets his heart broken by an extraterrestrial being and almost commits suicide isn’t something I need to see right now.”

“Oh, god,” Caitlin said, slipping the remote out of Cisco’s grasp. “No, it isn’t.”

Cisco stuck his spoon in his ice cream and took a few breaths. He finally looked up at Caitlin.

“What would happen if we let DeVoe win?” he asked. “We wouldn’t know any different. All of our problems—all of our pain—would just…go away.”

“Cisco, you can’t be serious,” Caitlin said, completely not sure if he was joking or not.

“Why can’t I?” he asked. “All the people we’ve lost? All the sacrifices we’ve made? I mean…has it really been worth it? Are we really that much better off? Everyday, we have to live with the choices we made because we thought we were doing good. Because we thought we were being smart. How smart could we be if we keep allowing those closest to us to die?”

“Cisco, you realize his plan is only for our Earth, right?” Caitlin asked. “What if she comes back and you’re not the same person she left? …The same person she fell in love with?”

“ _She’s not coming back, Caitlin!_ ” Cisco yelled. “I’m sorry. It’s just…she didn’t want… _us_. Not the way I wanted. I mean, did she really think we could’ve sustained a relationship at the rate we were going? It had been…weeks…since I’d seen her. My heart… _ached_ …everyday I didn’t. Not only were we more powerful together, we were _better_ together. I don’t know. I guess she didn’t feel the same way.”

Cisco picked up his spoon and continued eating. Caitlin looked at him with those sad eyes he knew all too well.

“What?” he asked, trying to avoid eye contact.

“I know how much it hurts,” she said. “I know how much you loved her.”

“I still do,” he interrupted.

“I know,” she replied. “But, Cisco…after everything we’ve been through…after everyone we _have_ lost— _you’ve_ lost—you deserve someone who’s going to want to be by your side through it all. The good and the bad.”

“Why does it seem like every time I think I’ve found that person…it turns out I’m not the one they’re meant to be with?” Cisco asked. “You know, I _really_ thought this was it. I had found a gorgeous, incredible… _breathtaking_ woman that knew… _everything_ about me and accepted me and loved me for who I am. …I wanted to marry her. …I wanted to go on so many adventures together. …I wanted to never let her go. …I guess relationships don’t work the same on Earth-19.”

“Speaking of Earth-19,” Caitlin said, waiting for the right time to bring this up, “Breacher offered you his job…”

Cisco took a deep breath. For the past month, he had felt guilty about not telling Caitlin. If anyone, she deserved to know if there was a possibility of him leaving.

“Yeah,” Cisco said. “I was never thinking of taking it, though. I couldn’t leave you guys. You know…not after everything.”

“Cisco, you could’ve at least told me,” Caitlin said.

“I know,” he sighed, looking down at his ice cream.

“You would’ve been amazing,” Caitlin added.

“What?” Cisco asked, looking back up at her. “What do you mean?”

“I would’ve told you to take it,” Caitlin said. “Cisco, you are smart…brave…strong… You could do _whatever_ is it you set out to do. Yeah, we would miss you here…but we would’ve had things covered. I don't know…sometimes I feel like I look at you and you seem…trapped. Like you have an obligation to be here. You don’t. Any dues you feel like you might’ve had to pay…they’ve been paid.”

Caitlin could see that Cisco was trying to hold back tears.

“Cisco, this started with you, me, Barry, and Dr. Wells,” she continued. “We stayed because we felt like we had to make things right. We stood behind a hero because he was going to help us do that. _You_ are your own hero now. You can do good _wherever_. I just want you to be happy. You know that, right?”

Cisco leaned over and gave Caitlin another hug. His ice cream tipped over on his lap and started spilling onto the couch. He didn't care. He just needed to hold her. If he couldn’t hold the woman he loved, he could hold his best friend.


End file.
